I felt a new leaf turning in January, for lack of a less-cliche term. My birthday is in June, and I tend to think of the completion of that rotation (revolution?) as the start of a new year. But again, for some reason–maybe because all my best homies are turning 30, maybe because (Inshallah) I complete my degree(s), maybe because for the first time since 2019, I feel something approximating stable mental health–2024 felt like the start of something different.
So, I’m reverting to my youth. I am 28 and a half. And with the half, I decided to try something new. I haven’t been writing in any real way since starting grad school, the regular call to 20+ page papers grating at the practice of self-expression, the same way the necessity of nonfiction has zapped my capacity to read. I live in my Notes app, though, so as often as I think to–which is getting pretty close to every day–I write down one thought. No paragraphs, no context, only exposition if I have the energy or the time or the words. If I get more than the one, great. But we’re doing realistic goals at 28 and a half. I don’t have any real plan for these thoughts, because I am floating in a kind of plan-less plane in general right now. But I like them, and I like the idea of recording them somewhere more enduring than my iPhone.
1/31/2024
God and time are on my side.
1/29/2024
My talent is God’s gift.
My talent is my gift to God.
I am grateful that serving God means serving You.
1/28/2024
If God is everything, then we’re God.
1/26/2024
stop time-binding shit. Y’all don’t have that kind of relationship.
1/24/2024
“who are you and what do you want?” – Uncle Iroh
1/21/2024
we are our own inciting incidents.
1/20/24
Grateful to be loved.
Cannot be myself w these niggas when I
know they wanna fuck me and that’s not
what I’m tryna do.
We exist in the tension in between.
1/19/24
And Craig.
1/18/24
You missed the part where Breezy said I did a good job.
Sets a good fucking precedent.
1/17/24
These are the little things you learn to romanticize about living in the north.
– the sound snow makes crunching under your boots
1/10/24
– university
– fame
– vamps
-hobbit hole
(Sims 4 expansion packs)
1/9/23
“how can curiosity exist without understanding?” – Kendal
how can curiosity exist with understanding?
I’m curious because I don’t know what’s going on.
1/8/23
I associate taking care of myself with growing up and I have implied, more than once, that I think growing up is a scam.
1/6/23
I’m the center of Somebody’s
Universe but not yours
1/5/23
most commonly celebrated holiday around the world is independence from the British.
1/4/24
neurodivergence—we can’t trust our
minds, so that’s why we have to use our
senses—and it’s fun to trust our senses.
1/3/24
I am venomous and ruined.
n/either of us is wrong.
Neutral is sustainable.
“Living is wasted on the suicidal.” – Erin
oneBlack experience 