Before

Before, 

I would have cried 

at my desk, spewed 

paragraphs of hurt 

into green text bubbles, 

told you that I didn’t care, 

that I was over you, 

with your casual indifference, 

and your selfishness 

that borders on cruelty 

at times. Then, 

I would have called you,

once, twice, three times, 

paced the hallways like 

a fool, made excuses 

in defense of you. 

He’s just busy. 

His job is new. 

He’s got visa issues, 

and he gets anxious 

sometimes, as if that 

gives you the right 

to cast a shade over

my life. Why tell me 

you love me if you 

didn’t want 

the responsibility? 

Why remind me I’m 

unhappy if you planned 

to inflict more pain?

I expected more. 

But I refuse 

to go back 

to 

before. 


Eh, I still cried at my desk a little bit. Heartbreak’s a bitch, but every day gets better. For more evidence of my very tenuous emotional state, check out this song, which I’ve listened to on repeat for ~12 hours in the last two days. I wish I was exaggerating.

Valentine’s Day (Shameful) – Kehlani

Love & Light good people. 

Cam

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