Let’s Stop Praising Men for Doing the Minimum

I would like us to stop praising men for being decent human beings. If a man tries to put the moves on you, and you say “stop,” I would like it to be known that if he stops it does not make him a good person. Maybe good at hearing, but not in any other way an exceptional human being. You shouldn’t get praised for not violating someone’s right to consent, or for not being horrible.

Congratulations! You’re not a rapist!

As you can see, that’s not a real thing. And I think if we keep reinforcing the idea that you can do the bare minimum and be a “good guy” it makes it difficult to identify what an actual good guy is. It also reinforces the whole “boys will be boys mentality” that makes men feel like they’re owed something when they do the right thing. They’re not. Doing the right thing should be the natural inclination, not the exception. I don’t get an award every year I manage not to kill someone. But if I do kill someone, I’m going to prison for the rest of my life. The concepts are similar I think.

As women, and fellow human beings, listening to us is something men should just be expected to do.

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